Social Developement
Children grow and develop socially and emotionally at different paces. There are reasons behind their emotions, behaviours and reactions to certain events. Children often learn their social skills through observation and imitation. If you are interested in how your child develops socially or if you are wondering why your child does certain actions or behaves in certain ways, you are in the right place!
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Birth – 12 months
Social interactions become critical during these months. Infants begin to respond when their name is said, smile, laugh and play games such as peek-a-boo. They slowly begin to express various emotions such as happiness, sadness, fear, and anger. They are able to distinguish who are family and friends and who are strangers. At this stage, they also begin to respond to spoken words and gestures towards them. By the time they are one year old, they begin to copy the actions of individuals around them. They also begin to express a feeling of anxiety when they are separated from parents or their caregivers.
Ages 1- 3
During this stage, children begin to interact with more people. They are able to initiate play with others and play independently. They recognize when they have accomplished something which makes them feel a sense of happiness. At this age, they also began to further express negative emotions such as anger and frustration. They become assertive beings as they try to control the actions of others they are playing with. As they approach the age of 4, children begin to learn that they need to follow directions they are
given. They learn that it is important for them to share their toys with other children. These children being to create their own games which often includes “pretend play”.
Ages 4- 6
Children between the ages four to six begin to understand the difference between right and wrong. This entails that children recognize good and bad behaviour. They begin to create comparisons between themselves and their peers. At this stage, they also become aware of other people’s feelings besides their own.
Social interactions become critical during these months. Infants begin to respond when their name is said, smile, laugh and play games such as peek-a-boo. They slowly begin to express various emotions such as happiness, sadness, fear, and anger. They are able to distinguish who are family and friends and who are strangers. At this stage, they also begin to respond to spoken words and gestures towards them. By the time they are one year old, they begin to copy the actions of individuals around them. They also begin to express a feeling of anxiety when they are separated from parents or their caregivers.
Ages 1- 3
During this stage, children begin to interact with more people. They are able to initiate play with others and play independently. They recognize when they have accomplished something which makes them feel a sense of happiness. At this age, they also began to further express negative emotions such as anger and frustration. They become assertive beings as they try to control the actions of others they are playing with. As they approach the age of 4, children begin to learn that they need to follow directions they are
given. They learn that it is important for them to share their toys with other children. These children being to create their own games which often includes “pretend play”.
Ages 4- 6
Children between the ages four to six begin to understand the difference between right and wrong. This entails that children recognize good and bad behaviour. They begin to create comparisons between themselves and their peers. At this stage, they also become aware of other people’s feelings besides their own.
common behavioural issues
Are you concerned about your childs negative behaviour? Don't panic! There are some misbehaviours that are common and natural for children during specific ages. Children misbehave for various reasons. Children often seek attention from other children or the adults around them. If they are unable to receive positive attention, they will misbehave in order to receive negative attention. Some common misbehaviours include:
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Jealousy
Children often experience a feeling of jealousy for various reasons. Studies have shown that the first born child will most likely begin feeling a sense of jealousy when there is a new baby in the picture. A second trigger for jealousy is when children begin to acknowledge the talents or skills of other children that they do not possess. Behaviours that often follow jealousy is a feeling of anger and often miniature tantrums. The child might begin to lie or destroy objects in order to get revenge. Lastly, a child might resort to bullying if they feel jealous of another individual. Other ways to detect jealousy in a child is by acknowledging more subtle behaviours such as being rude, demanding, clingy, depressed or sad.
Children often experience a feeling of jealousy for various reasons. Studies have shown that the first born child will most likely begin feeling a sense of jealousy when there is a new baby in the picture. A second trigger for jealousy is when children begin to acknowledge the talents or skills of other children that they do not possess. Behaviours that often follow jealousy is a feeling of anger and often miniature tantrums. The child might begin to lie or destroy objects in order to get revenge. Lastly, a child might resort to bullying if they feel jealous of another individual. Other ways to detect jealousy in a child is by acknowledging more subtle behaviours such as being rude, demanding, clingy, depressed or sad.
Lying
Children between the ages 4 and 5 often make up stories and tell miniscule lies. This often occurs because children cannot always distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality. Adolescent children may begin to tell lies to avoid doing something or to deny certain negative actions they have done. If your child is lying often, it is important for you as the parent to talk to your child about the importance of being truthful and honest. Some children fall into a pattern of repetitive lying. This is because they feel that lying is the easy way to deal with issues that arise. Children often lie to cover up for something else they have done.
Tantrums
Temper tantrums often consist of whining, crying, screaming, shouting, kicking, hitting, etc. Temper tantrums frequently occur when children are between the ages of 1 and 3. Children do not acquire the same self-discipline and control as adults do. They also do not have the appropriate skills to problem solve in a civil manner. Children often have temper tantrums in order to gain someone’s attention if they are hungry, tired or simply uncomfortable. A tantrum is the easiest way for a child to deal with their own frustrations.
Children between the ages 4 and 5 often make up stories and tell miniscule lies. This often occurs because children cannot always distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality. Adolescent children may begin to tell lies to avoid doing something or to deny certain negative actions they have done. If your child is lying often, it is important for you as the parent to talk to your child about the importance of being truthful and honest. Some children fall into a pattern of repetitive lying. This is because they feel that lying is the easy way to deal with issues that arise. Children often lie to cover up for something else they have done.
Tantrums
Temper tantrums often consist of whining, crying, screaming, shouting, kicking, hitting, etc. Temper tantrums frequently occur when children are between the ages of 1 and 3. Children do not acquire the same self-discipline and control as adults do. They also do not have the appropriate skills to problem solve in a civil manner. Children often have temper tantrums in order to gain someone’s attention if they are hungry, tired or simply uncomfortable. A tantrum is the easiest way for a child to deal with their own frustrations.
positive & negative reinforcement
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B.F Skinner is an American psychologist who studied behaviour in children and adults. He created the term “Operant Conditioning” which is essentially the change in behaviour with the use of both positive and negative reinforcements. Skinner exemplifies how positive reinforcement strengthens a child’s behaviour by providing some type of positive consequence that a child finds rewarding. Skinner also exemplifies how a negative reinforcement is effective which is essentially the removal of a reinforcement that a child finds rewarding. Providing a child with a positive reinforcement will essentially increase the likelihood of a child performing a good behaviour.
Examples of positive reinforcements could be verbal appraisals, prizes, allowances, etc. When a child is given a negative reinforcement for bad behaviour, it essentially decreases the likelihood of the negative behaviour from reoccurring and it increases the likelihood of the desired behaviour. One important thing to consider when implementing positive and negative reinforcements in your home is that negative reinforcement is NOT a punishment.
Ways to Discourage Negative Behaviour and Encourage Positive Behaviour:
Redirection
Distraction
Modeling Appopriate Behaviour
Verbal Appraisals
Rewards
Discussion
Withdrawal of Attention
Simple and Direct Statements
Positive Incentives
Motivate Your Child
References
AACAP. (2004). Children and Lying. American Academy of Child& Adolescent Psychiatry. Retrieved from
www.acap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/Facts_for_Families_Pages/Children_And_Lying_44.aspx
Cherry, K. (2013). Social and Emotional Milestones. About.com Psychology. Retrieved http://psychology.about.com/od/early-child-development/a/social-and-emotional-milestones.htm
Martinez, E. (2013). Jealousy in Children. Global Post. Retrieved http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/jealousy-children-10588.html
McLeod, S. A. (2007). B.F. Skinner | Operant Conditioning - Simply Psychology.Retrieved from http://www.simplypsychology.org/operant-conditioning.html
(2013). Why Kids Have Tantrums. Kids Health from Nemours. Retrieved from http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/tantrums.html
(2013). Positive Reinforcement, Negative Reinforcement and Discipline: What to Use and When. Maine Autism Conference. Retrieved from http://www.maineautismconference.org/documents/PositiveReinforcementNegativeReinforcementandDiscipline.pdf
Main Page Image: Foothills Children’s Wellness Network. (2013).Foothills Children’s Wellness Network. [Image]. Retrieved from http://www.foothillsnetwork.ca/
Figure 1: Faith Highway. (N/A). Cornerstone Kids. Cornerstonechurch. [Image]. Retrieved from http://cornerstonelife.org/ministry3.php
Figure 2: Martinez, E. (2013). Jealousy in Children. Global Post. [Image]. Retrieved http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/jealousy-children-10588.html
Figure 3: Paul, F. (2013). We All Enjoy Positive Reinforcement. Hospital Physician Partners. [Image]. Retrieved from http://www.hppartners.com/blog/we-all-enjoy-positive-reinforcement/